Day 204: grey days, Texas

k i am pretty sure we are a-ok but how do you know when you don't own your own Doppler to hear your baby's heartbeat and s/he is still too small to feel kick you in the ribs as reassurance??? How do mothers get through the panic and the worry to actually have a baby?I have spent the day today feeling a bit off. I ascribe it to hormones but i confess to being affected by the weather. It's been cold and rainy here in Austin and, though it IS winter, i was hoping for some warm weather to boost my spirits.Austin is a really cool town. It's easy to see that there's much going on here environmentally and no way that we will possibly be able to cover but a little corner of it in the short time that we're here. We are getting used to that feeling but, anticipating a "dry spell" in the remainder of the South, i've been looking up natural food options in Mississippi and Alabama. In case they don't have any. Cause i can't just be eating fried pickles.Ben is still editing the Washington pod, has been for days now. We had so many hours of footage. Looks like this will be his all-nighter tonight... I hope that he is able to pull it off by morning. It's a tough job, it really is, I couldn't do it. I will have to sleep just to support him. And thank our little jelly beano traveler for letting me know when it is time to rest.I heard some very sad news today about someone we just met and I have to acknowledge it. A great great loss. My heart is heavy and flying out to them all at the same time. I am so thankful for my family, for this trip, for the amount of time I have gotten to spend with the people in my family...Everytime somebody dies I am reminded to make better use of the time i have with the people i am with.This is no exception. I am so grateful.